Secret to Overcoming low self esteem and unhealthy relationships

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The Secret to Overcoming low self esteem and unhealthy relationships

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Emotional Abuse Recovery

The effects of emotional abuse go beyond the end of the abusive relationship.

All of a sudden you are thrown from an environment of familiar chaos to a place where you are left with your own thoughts and no road map.

In the relationship, you felt like you could not trust your own instincts and games were played with your mind. Even though you left the abuser, you are left with the residue of these thoughts around the clock.
The most important building block for your recovery foundation is validation and self-approval.

If you are like me, you are probably looking at these words as somewhat foreign. The only validation you may have received in your relationship came from your abuser in the words--you are not enough, and why can't you just do what I ask. Are those words familiar?
In order to feel that you are worthy of being in recovery and break the cycle of entering into another abusive relationship, learning to sense your own value and approving of yourself become priorities.
How do you learn how to validate yourself?

1.Detach from needing the.....

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Dr. Phil.com Marry Me or else show- Abuse of your Soul

Dr. Phil.com - Messageboards - 12/20 Marry Me or Else!


Take your power back women. Don't marry anyone that you have to beg to marry you?
You are a queen. God made you Bold and Worthy of the best in life. Scripture says when man finds a wife he has found a good thing. Not a burden, a good thing!

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Kick Fear in the Butt and Show up in Life PodCast

It's time to show up in your life and give fear a run for the money.
Listen in to my first PodCast of many.
Emotional Abuse does not have to be your destiny.
Listen in daily for encouragement to build your self esteem.
BoldandWorthyPodCast

Are you a free thinker or an Intellectual Prostitute?

Okay, Yukio,
What does this article have to do with Emotional Abuse?
Great question!

After reading this great article today,
I couldn't wait to share it with you.
It doesn't talk about emotional abuse in terms of relationships.
It talks about how abuse
carries over to other crucial parts of our lives.

Are you a free thinker or
an Intellectual Prostitute?

Keep reading to find out!

As a father whose world revolves around his eight-year-old
son, most of what little television I've watched over the
last eight years has been kids' shows, primarily cartoons.

Although I'm almost embarrassed to admit this, one of my
current favorites is "SpongeBob SquarePants".

I don't know why, it just is. :-)

One of my favorite episodes of "SpongeBob SquarePants" is
titled "Selling Out".

In this episode, SpongeBob's employer, Mr. Krabs, sells "The
Krusty Krab" restaurant for a trailer filled with suitcases
full of money to a corporate conglomerate that intends on
turning "The Krusty Krab" into a big chain.

Although it's what he always wanted, Mr. Krabs, now rich
beyond his wildest dreams, quickly discovers retirement
isn't all he thought it would be.

As a matter of fact...

He finds himself bored out of his mind with absolutely
nothing to do.

So...

Mr. Krabs takes a job as a busboy and dishwasher at "The
Krusty Krab", now renamed "Krabby O' Mondays", only to find
out it's no longer the restaurant it once was...

Everything is now very carefully "scripted", tightly
controlled by a manager following corporate manuals full of
strictly enforced policies, procedures, rules and
regulations...

Squidward is constantly smiling...

Mr. Krabs' beloved "Krabby Patties" are no longer made by
hand using the finest ingredients, but by a machine using
recycled garbage passed off by slick marketing to
unsuspecting customers as real food...

And...

Even worse...

The customers' money is no longer collected by real sea
creatures, but by an automated cash register.

When Mr. Krabs questions Carl, the new manager of "Krabby O'
Mondays", Carl tells Mr. Krabs "it's better if you don't
know" and closes the office door in his face.

Unable to take anymore...

With SpongeBob and Squidward standing by, scared to death to
say anything for fear of being "punished"...

Mr. Krabs, who hasn't read the employee handbook, nor cares
to, violates company policy and...

Speaks out...

Loudly...

So loud...

Everyone, including the customers, can hear what he knew to
be "wrong".

With an "uprising" clearly underway...

Carl grabs his cell phone, calls corporate headquarters and
says something to the effect of:

Code red...

We have a free thinker!

When I first saw this episode of "SpongeBob SquarePants", it
immediately reminded me of a passage I'd read in a book just
a few days earlier and had been pondering...

In "How to Get What You Want", a book he wrote prior to "The
Science of Getting Rich", the book for which he's best
known, Wallace D. Wattles writes:

"If you are an employee and desire promotion, put life into
everything you do; put in more than enough life and interest
to fill each piece of work."

"But do not be servile; never be a flunkey; and above all
things avoid the intellectual prostitution which is the vice
of our times in many trades and most professions."

"I mean by this the being a mere hired apologist for and
defender of immorality, graft, dishonesty, or vice in any
form."

"The intellectual prostitute may rise in the service, but he
is a lost soul."

"Respect yourself; be absolutely just to all; put LIFE into
every act and thought..."

Interesting...

Although Wallace D. Wattles wrote these words nearly one
hundred years ago, they could have just as easily been
written today.

Think about it...

The "intellectual prostitution which is the vice of our
times in many trades and most professions" has since risen
to the level of an art form and even become a profession in
and of itself.

All levels of business and government are virtually
overflowing with paid apologizers, defenders and ignorers of
immorality, graft, dishonesty, or vice...

People who've "sold out" their beliefs, morals and values
for a paycheck, and often not a very big one at that,
totally oblivious to the true cost...

"A lost soul," as Wallace D. Wattles put it.

Jesus, the Master Teacher, once asked:

"For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole
world, and lose his own soul?"

With that in mind...

My question for you to ponder today is...

Are you a "free thinker" like Mr. Krabs or an "intellectual
prostitute" like Carl?

The choice is yours...

Make it a good one...

It may well mean the difference between having respect for
yourself and being "a lost soul". :-)

Climber found dead ID as Kelly James

Pray for the family of Kelly James ID today as the climber found yesterday.
Everyday let's choose to honor our loved ones. We don't know when we may lose them.
Let the loss of one life be honored by living in the present moment without regrets.



What can you do today to honor your life?

May God bless this family our prayers are with you.

Nicole Richie and Emotional Abuse

Nicole Richie Needs help and our prayers.
According to TMZ, Nicole Richie is facing jail time for her recent incident.

She is being defended from others saying that the media is playing this up and making it a bigger deal than it is.

Driving on the wrong side of the road,under the influence, and weighing 85 pounds sounds more like the reality of the situation.

She needs help. Addicts and abusers don't benefit from excuses. They benefit from reality and treatment for the pain that they are trying to numb in their life. I believe this is a cry for help. How will letting her off the hook benefit her?

Dare to confront the pain in your life, instead of running from it.

In terms of emotional abuse, its easy to make excuses for the abuser. Saying things like " He's good to me sometimes." By approving of this behavior you are saying that it's okay to be abused the rest of the time. The abuser has no reason to seek help, if that is the feedback you give him.

I don't say this to be hard on you. I say it out of love from someone who's been in your shoes. I said the same things. What happened? The abuse got worse, it didn't change. You deserve better for your life.

Dr Phil,Tericka,God's Forgiveness and Abuse

Ruined by Her Past?


Tericka, a high school teacher, lived in fear that her scandalous past would catch up with her. When news of her indiscretions spread through town, her dreams were shattered. Michael, a fellow teacher, says he wouldn't want his kids in a classroom with her.

What's her shocking secret and how can she move forward?



My heart goes out to this teacher who is shunned from teaching because of her past.

I believe Personal shame of our past mistakes lead people to stay in abusive relationships.
Matching the shame of the past to what they deserve in a relationship for the present.

Along with Accepting God's forgiveness comes acceptance of the good and the not so good times in our lives. But we see it differently because it is through "Blood stained glasses" that I am made whole. My sins are paid in full.

Tericka acknowledged her shame and is a role model. The past does not have to equal the present.

Wear your Boldness on your sleeve:Break the Silence! See Yourself as Beautiful. Verbal Abuse is Powerless in the Face of Boldness

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Empowering Women to Shatter the Silence against Abuse

My prayers are with you and your family, JAMES KIM: Cnet editor seen as calm, resourceful

My Prayers are with you and your family. May God protect you and bring you back safely together.

'We are not going to quit until we find him' / JAMES KIM: Cnet editor seen as calm, resourceful

It's easy to critize others when we are not in the situation. Yesterday, I read discussion boards that commented on what James Kim "Should Have" done. "He should have stayed in the car."
" He just wasn't thinking." Some people said. What do we know what he was thinking when we weren't there with him.


Why is it so hard to praise the heroic effort of his heart to save his family?

We don't have all the answers. God does.

To see the heart of this family and resourcefullness to stay alive 10 days with only the shelter of a car is amazing.

I commend his efforts to do whatever he could to find help. I can only imagine the anguish he and his wife felt to see two young children afraid and hungry.

Our greatest leaders and inventors thought beyond conventional opinion so we can enjoy the luxuries we have today. If they followed what people said "they should have " done, we would not have light, cell phones, ipods, and the list goes on and on.

I believe we lash out at others in an effort to protect ourselves from feeling emotions. When you lash out hastily without consideration for others you put up a wall around you. You put yourself in a position to automatically shut down the opinions of others. That's a sad way to live.

Today I hope we can look in our hearts to embrace the efforts of others to better a situation than to condemn them.

May God bless the Kim Family,

Yukio Strachan Phillips