Emotional Abuse Survior to Overcomer

I would rather be ashes than dust! I would rather that my spark should burn out in a brilliant blaze than it should be stifled by dry rot. I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet. The proper function of man is to live, not to exist. I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them. I shall use my time.

- Jack London

The days of being dust is over! We will no longer stand by and accumulate in a corner. God made you and I in his image. We are creators of the earth. If you are in any situation that causes you to feel "stifled " or "dust", now is the time to bring boldness in your spirit and fight for your soul.

I speak passionately about this because I was the dust that sat and accumulated in the corner. Not allowing the light that God had in my soul to shine for the world to see.

If you want to know how to allow your light to shine again, Let me walk with you and guide you back to yourself.

This is your Year, your month, your day, your moment.

Take Care of You

And It Was Good

Emotional Abuse may not leave physical scars, but it leaves scars of the soul.

Bruises go away.

Words are repeated not only by the abuser,

but by your own mind.

Trusting God's opinion of us is what matters most. During my relationship, I viewed my partner's opinion above God's.

Now is the time to align my heart with God's heart so the hole that I was trying to fill by staying in a relationship will instead be filled with God's love.

I called this post "And it was Good" because God does not require us to be perfect in everything we do. He praises our best based in whatever situation we find ourselves in.

No matter how small; he knows our heart.

So instead of critizing ourselves when we fall short of not being perfect, learning to stand still and know that God is not critizing is my daily qwest. He gives us grace so we know how to show grace to ourselves and others.

Give yourself a big helping of Grace today instead of kicking yourself for not being perfect.
Accepting God's grace will give you peace to confront any situation. Until tomorrow. Yukio

Self Care and Emotionally Abusive Relationship

We are super care takers when it comes to taking care of other people. What happens when it comes to taking care of ourselves?

We forget about ourselves and we become an empty shell of what we used to be.

Taking care of your spirit and body is important to your happiness. The more you attend to the abuser the less you focus on yourself. How can you give away something you don't have?

My sister you are awesome and deserve to freely let your personality and uniqueness shine.

Your Creator did not create a doormat.

You have the right to be respected

You have the right to have your opinion

You have a right to be the best you God created you to be.

I am here as support for you through my website, new support group, and blog.

When you surround yourself with people who see the best in you, there is nothing that will be able to stand in your way.

If I can be of any help email me or go to my website and let me know. I have been in your shoes and know the uncertainty and fears that you feel. I am praying for you.

I look forward to meeting you
Yukio

How Watching Survivor, America’s Next Top Model, and Project Runway Help Overcome Emotional Abuse

Tonight I caught a glimpse of Survivor for the first time. I understand why so many people are drawn to watching this show. It’s the same reason why shows like America’s Next Top Model and Project Runway attract such large audiences.

All of these shows have
something in common: fighting with everything they have inside their heart and
soul to grab the prize.

As I watched Survivor tonight, I saw determination on the face of one woman who was challenged to hold on to the pole as her competitors tried to drag her away to cross the finish line.

I looked on her face and saw fierce
determination that went far beyond the physical realm of holding on to the pole,
but she was using her mind to add power to her goal of not letting go.

Even when her competitors pulled her away from the pole, she reached her arm out to claw and fight her way back to her goal. She did not give up.

The longer we are involved in an emotionally abusive relationship the harder it is to have a sense of fight. Emotional or Verbal abuse chips away at your spirit. The energy to fight seems overwhelming.

I am here to tell you that you are not alone anymore. You are worth the fight and that’s why my website is dedicated to you. I endured more abuse in my relationships because I thought no one would understand or shame me and say that I should not have let those things happen. So rather than endure more shame, I stayed.

That little girl inside of you is scared of the situation you are in right now. She wants you to fight for her. You are a woman of strength who allowed other influences to override what your own heart felt was not right. It is not too late no matter what your abuser says to you. All you need is a willingness to want better for your life. Even if you don’t have a clear picture right now, that’s okay. The first step is wanting better for you.

As I saw in survivor tonight, I say to you: hold on so much to the vision of wanting better

that you can taste how close you are to having it.

Don’t let go.

God did not bring you here to be run down and drained in life. God’s purpose for you is bigger than you can see right now. I am living proof. And you are on your way. Make that first step by signing up for my newsletter that offers a minicourse on how to build up your mental strength in order to fight the abuse from a position of power instead of weakness. I look forward to hearing from you soon. I am praying for you.
Yukio

Americas Next Top Model and Fear, and Emotional Abuse

Okay, I am a junkie of America's next top Model. I love the show. Not just because
I wanted to be a model in my previous life:), but because of what you can learn from
the show itself.

Last week, Tyra spoke to the remaining models about how they were feeling under the pressure. There were two points I wanted to highlight that can be applied to why it's easy
to stay in an emotionally abusive relationship.

1. Tyra said that we are often led by fear in making decisions
2. When you don't confront situations that bother you, it will come out in other ways.

When we think about leaving an abusive relationship we often stay because of fear. Fear of the abuser not being able to survive without us and fear of how the person may react. You could add to the list. So we stay and hope for the best. Mostly what ends up happening is that we die more inside and build resentment not only with the abuser but with ourselves.

So this resentment builds up and all of a sudden, it comes out in other ways.

Being led by fear makes you
feel like you are not in control of your own mind. Know that your Creator
gave you a mind and a spirit that can defeat fear.

You deserve more for yourself than living in constant fear and chaos. What will it take to leave behind the abuse that you are suffering. Let me know and I will help in any way I can. I have been where you are.

You are more powerful than you realize! I believe in you.

At the top of this posting is a subscription box for my ezine from Bold and Worthy.com This newsletter will help you clear your mind and build boldness in your spirit during your journey in healing the deep wounds of emotional abuse. Sign up today and feel your worth get stronger by the day.

Take Care of you,
Yukio

Mel Gibson, Fear, and Addiction

" Those without sin Cast the First Stone"

Jesus knew how our minds work when it comes to judging others. So when the pharisees wanted to stone the adultress Mary Magdelene, he knew exactly what to say.

When all was said and done, Jesus looked up and everyone who accused the woman walked away. Jesus, the only one without sin did not throw the stone either. But what did he say?

" I do not condemn you, go and sin no more!"

I do not condemn Mel Gibson, I pray for Mel Gibson. As a person in the spotlight, his every move is watched. Unfortunately it seems as though the bad things the person does gets amplified rather than the good.

Fear and addiction go hand in hand. A lot of times the addiction is fueled by the avoidance of fear of some kind. Fear of rejection, fear of facing pain, etc.

Many times the fear lurks deep in our past. Something not dealt with that impacts the way you interact with life on a day to day basis.

Instead of dealing with it, you unknowingly create a situation to distract you from the pain of the past. For example, a person who was teased about how they dressed growing up, as an adult may spend lots of money and buy clothes based on fear of being teased again.

The key is to deal with the root problem and deal with it from a place of power.

Confronting pain from your past may be difficult, but the results will be rewarding.

Does fear run any area in your life? The way you can tell is if that part of your life is in chaos.

We only have one life to live. What can you do today to live with more power tomorrow?

Until Then, Live with Boldness.

Yukio

What is your Essence?

"Only when we reveal ourselves can we be truly loved."- Robin Norwood

What do you think about this statement? Revealing the real you is very scary in the hands of the wrong person. You give your heart away to someone in a relationship and hope that it does not get mistreated. At first, you think that you have found your soul mate, the person who finally understands you. As time goes on, the part of your core that you trusted your partner to hold sacred gets stepped on. Little by little your self esteem chips away everyday from verbal attacks from your partner. Suddenly, you forget the person you were before you entered the relationship.

When are the moments that you feel free to reveal yourself? Emotional abuse takes away your ability to really feel free to be yourself. How would it feel to be with your partner and never have to put on an act? It took me getting away and staying out of the abusive relationship to get to know myself again.

When you close your eyes at night, do you long to just be free to be yourself? I know you are tired. It is not too late to reclaim your life. I am here to help you get your heart's desire.

On the top of this page is a subscription box to sign up for my free newsletter and you will receive a free minicourse on how to build your self esteem to lead a bold life. Give it a try and see your life change. Talk with you again tomorrow- Yukio

Shame a Weapon of Control in Verbal Abuse

" Shame is an overwhelming negative sense that who we are isn't okay.
shame is a spell others put on us to control us, to keep us playing our part in
abusive relationships. It is a spell we then learned to place on
ourselves... It's okay to be who you are. You are good enough. Your feelings are
okay, and it's okay to be human."

- excerpt taken from Melody Beattie The language of letting go

You are a beautiful work of art and radiant diamond. No matter what is said to you, know you were created to have a purpose that excites your soul. No one deserves to be shamed. When we hear shame so many times over and over again without rejecting it, our minds accept it as reality.

God is perfection. If God did not make you perfect, why is someone else trying to make you feel like you should be perfect. The problem lies with the person saying those things. The problem becomes yours when you accept their words as truth.

There is scripture that helped me regain my sanity and helped me to leave my abusive relationship that I repeated over and over again and hopefully it can help you too.

" But, I have a mind just like you; I am not inferior to you."- Job 12:3 (NIV)

Job was being tormented by his so called friends and this was his response to them. God gave you wisdom and intuition. Know that in your heart. And Carry it in your spirit. I am praying for you and hope to meet you soon!
Be Bold, Be Worthy because you are you!
Yukio

When Fairytale endings turn to Nightmares: Emotional Abuse

Happily everafter were at the end of all the fairytales I read. How about you? Since Fairytales end that way real life relationships should do the same, right?

The problem with fairytales is that they are just that, a fairytale. A lot of times we take the fairytale theme and apply it to relationships to keep up appearances that everything is perfect.

But you know deep in your soul that you are living a double existence. Keeping up appearances for others in public and using all the energy you can to remain sane in private.

My precious sister, do you really want to live the rest of your live
being numb and just existing day to day. I know what it's like to feel
mentally in a fog. Making rationalizations to just hope that the next day
would be different and happier. Only to be let down and broken in
spirit.

If you want more in your life and want to know how to get stronger mentally to get out of mental abuse. Sign up for my newsletter above and you will receive a free course on how to build your self esteem. Also visit my new website for other resources and articles to give you support on this journey. You are not alone. I will keep fighting for your emotional health everyday. I have not met you yet. But I hope to meet you soon. Take Care.

Yukio

Emotional Abuse:When Love Means Pain

One of my favorite books of all times is Women Who Love Too Much by Robin NorWood.
In my journey of ending an emotionally abusive relationship this book offered much insight as to why it was hard to leave.

If you have been involved in an abusive relationship or currently in one see if this rings true for you in the reason why you stayed.

Robin Norwood says " The more difficult it is to end an abusive
relationship the more elements of childhood struggle it contains. When you
are loving too much to let go you are trying to overcome the old fear,
pain, and frustration from childhood, when the opportunity comes to leave
him your mind thinks that you are giving up a chance to make the past
right.-paraphrased"

What do you think about this association between staying in an emotionally abusive relationship? Can you think of times from your childhood that you are still seeking approval?

I passage really made me think about the approval I wanted from my peer in school growing up. I was not popular like the other girls in class and I often felt lonely and defective. The partners who I was in relationships with were popular and represented finally being a part of the "in" crowd. I am finally accepted and noticed. Even though I allowed the mental insanity, at least I was accepted.

Being in recovery from being in an abusive relationship has been a long road with bumbs and roadblocks. I would not trade it for anything in the world because of the freedom of being me. And knowing that because God created me, I am Worthy of Love. No other reason needed. It took lots of support and leaving the environment that was familiar.

Women if you are reading this are being emotionally abused you can get out.
Support around you is the #1 enenmy to your abuser. That's why he keeps you in a crazymaking spell. Visit my website to learn more about getting support and enter your email in the above box to get more information. You deserve healing and joy in your life. Despite what your mate has said about you. You are not alone. I hope to meet you soon!
Yukio

Why Christian Women Stay in Abusive Relationships

Abuse continues to be a word that breeds shame in our society.

Why do I say shame?

Because of perception
abused women keep silent. The place where the abused
should be able to take refuge is often the place
where they are persecuted the most.

Sadly, this place is the Church.

I believe that Church is a place of healing and love.
A place to demonstrate and
receive the grace and love of God. Lack of
awareness and experience with abuse makes it difficult to
know what to do when an abused woman comes for help.

Where there is awareness there is a possibility for putting support in
place to help abuse victims.

The following is an example of what happened when support and awareness
were not in place in a church community.

A woman getting abused by her husband
got the courage to share with her minister that she had been abused.
She did not know where else to go for support and wanted help.

The minister said that her husband never displayed
those kinds of actions in front of him and to listen to the
Bible and “submit to her husband.”

How is a woman to submit to a
man who constantly tells her how worthless she
is? She takes the step of faith to go to a messenger of God for help,
only to be invalidated.

Now is the time to raise awareness and break the silence in our
churches.

Please contact me and visit my website if you would like
information on how to raise awareness of supporting the abused in your church
community.

Feeling Unpretty?

Today, as I returned from church I listened to a TLC song called

Unpretty.

It was the national anthem for women when it was first released.

The song talks mainly about a woman who looks to other things to

bring happiness.

She is in a relationship that makes her feel like she is

worthless. Then she realizes

that if she looked inside herself she would realize her value

and not let it be defined by her partner.

October starts Domestic Violence month. My heart goes out to

all the women who fall victim to accepting controlling behavior.

They rationalize that it's okay because it does not happen all

the time. Or that it's because of how their partner grew up, he really does

love me. Because of this, their scream is silent and they cease

to exist. I know your pain and help is available.

In some cases, the abuser may not realize that they have abusive

behavior. Bottom Line: As human beings we have the right to

feel value and worth.

Love does not force it's opinion

Love does not control your choices

Love respects the uniqueness of your being

Dr Phil often says that in relationships we should aim to have

the other person feeling better about themselves after being in

our company.

Wouldn't the world be a better place if we all had the goal of

shining light in someone elses life, just because?

Are there people in your life that drain your value and worth

account?

You come away from them feeling unsure of yourself and

depressed.

If you are ready to have more out of life and don't know where

to start, go to my website and sign up for my free newsletter.

This resource will help you live the life of boldness that you

were born to live.

There is no one else on earth that can do what God has given you

the ability to express.

Today is your day. It's not too late.